‘Sister your hijab is too distracting’

‘Brother; more Shaykh , less Drake.’

‘Sisters , driving damages ovaries.

‘Brothers , lower your gaze , but dat ankle tho.’

And on and on and on it goes…

What nonsense am I spouting , one would ask? Well given the current events , political wars and extremism , one would almost find this hilarious. Almost. We have snatched the crowns from the deserving and placed them on the heads of the foolish. Yes I said ‘WE’.

When one could be using religion to make changes for the better and perhaps advance in almost every possible way , our beloved imams and shaykhs have somewhat taken us back to the Prehistoric era. Not that there’s anything wrong with listening to their sermons once in a while , but when does it get problematic? When visions of Hell embroil with punishments and declaring the West as the ‘Infidelistan’.


A place where each and every individual succumbs to his or her own desires , and thus paving their way to Hell , while partying it up with Shaytaan.

Almost any country in the world can be declared as such. Where women are given equal rights (Astaghfirullah times infinity) , where minorities of all sort are respected and given the same status as the state religion , and advancement of knowledge is seen as something positive.

How dare they turn their backs on the given word of the Quraan , the verses of which we happily cherry-pick and twist and turn the meanings for our own benefit , until it doesn’t make sense anymore? How dare they , indeed. How dare they veto for women’s rights , when their rights are mentioned in the Quran already , but we ignore them and set our own cultural restrictions? How dare they respect minorities , whom our Prophet protected so much when we can kill them and maim them and drive them out of our ‘Muslamic Lands’?

Infidelistan is where women are walking fitnah and men are dogs , it is where people are nice to each other , and God-forbid , hold intellectual discussions. It is where they house dogs and Shaytan in the same cage.

And to that , what do we say brothers and sisters?

‘Astaghfirullah indeed’.


(This is a satire , please don’t h8 on me)





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